Bible Kisses

Happy Valentine’s Day! This day is often associated with “sweethearts,” flowers, chocolate, and kisses. Of course, in our commercially driven society, Valentine’s Day has become just another “special day” retailers try to force on us and guilt-trip us into purchasing their products. In any case, with Valentine’s Day falling on the same day as this bulletin’s publication, a study on Bible kisses seems appropriate.

Kisses of Greeting

Perhaps the most familiar Bible kiss to most readers would be the kiss mentioned in the New Testament as a form of greeting. For example, Paul told the Romans, “Greet one another with a holy kiss. The churches of Christ greet you” (Rom. 16:16, NKJ). He also entreated the Corinthians and the Thessalonians to do the same (1 Cor. 16:20; 2 Cor. 13:12; 1 Thes. 5:26). Similarly, Peter told his first readers, “Greet one another with a kiss of love” (1 Pet. 5:14). It is usually held that the kiss greeting was exchanged at first only between members of the same sex, but in the course of time men and women began to exchange kisses (evidenced in some of Tertullian’s writings, an early “church father” who lived in the ad 200’s). This led to undesirable scenes, which were apparent in the writings of Clement of Alexandria (ca. ad 200), who says that “the shameless use of a kiss...occasions foul suspicions and evil reports” (quoted by Morris in his commentary on First and Second Thessalonians, pages 185-186). The New Testament writers did not invent the kiss as a mode of greeting. Rather, kissing was a form of greeting in many cultures long before the Bible was written. Paul was merely regulating the kiss to make sure the greetings of Christians were sincere. To greet a brother and then treat him with contempt behind his back is hypocrisy (cf. Mt. 26:47-49). Greeting someone in this context is an indication that the one being kissed is welcomed and accepted.

Kisses of Betrayal

Another type of kiss in the Bible is summarized by the wise man’s words long ago, “Faithful are the wounds of a friend, But the kisses of an enemy are deceitful” (Pr. 27:6). While we most often think of Judas’ kiss of Jesus as the only betrayal kiss in Scripture, there were actually at least two that preceded it. The Bible speaks of Absalom, “And so it was, whenever anyone came near to bow down to him, that he would put out his hand and take him and kiss him” (2 Sam. 15:5). While this seems innocent on the surface, the next verse states, “In this manner Absalom acted toward all Israel who came to the king for judgment. So Absalom stole the hearts of the men of Israel” (2 Sam. 15:6). The kiss of betrayal is somewhat opposite of the “holy kiss” mentioned by Paul. The kiss of betrayal is a kiss that purports sincerity and good will, but in reality delivers malice and selfish ambition. Another kiss of betrayal was exemplified by Joab. “Then Joab said to Amasa, Are you in health, my brother? And Joab took Amasa by the beard with his right hand to kiss him. But Amasa did not notice the sword that was in Joab’s hand. And he struck him with it in the stomach...Thus he died” (2 Sam. 20:9-10). Joab acted as though he was sincerely concerned about Amasa, but he delivered a lethal blow. The best known kiss of betrayal was that by Judas Iscariot, one of the Twelve. Before the Calvary events took place, Judas allowed Satan to enter into his heart to betray the Lord (Jn. 13:26-30). Jesus, of course, knew Judas would betray Him, but notice Judas’ kiss of betrayal. When Judas came “with a great multitude with swords and clubs,” Matthew comments, “Now His betrayer had given them a sign, saying, Whomever I kiss, He is the One; seize Him. Immediately he went up to Jesus and said, Greetings, Rabbi! and kissed Him. But Jesus said to him, Friend, why have you come? Then they came and laid hands on Jesus and took Him” (Mt. 26:48-50).

Kisses of Affection

The final type of kisses we will consider in this article deal with affection. Sometimes the affection involved weeping, such as when “Jacob kissed Rachel, and lifted up his voice and wept” (Gen. 29:11). Also, Jonathan and David shared this kind of kiss. “And they kissed one another; and they wept together, but David more so. Then Jonathan said to David, Go in peace, since we have both sworn in the name of the Lord, saying, May the Lord be between you and me, and between your descendants and my descendants, forever. So he arose and departed, and Jonathan went into the city” (1 Sam. 20:41-42). Because these two stalwarts in Israel shared this kind of affection for one another does not mean they were homosexuals. We know elsewhere that David was heterosexual in his “sexual orientation” (cf. Bathsheba, 2 Sam 11 and David’s wives). David’s “love” for Jonathan was not sexual but based upon friendship which was affectionately shown in ancient Eastern cultures. Also, in the verses cited above, Jonathan only stripped his robe, armor, and belt (cf 1 Sam. 18:4) as a symbol of deep respect and commitment to David. Furthermore, the emotion expressed after they “kissed” was not sexual but was great sorrow (1 Sam. 20:41). Another example of kisses of sorrow was when Paul gave his final farewell to the Ephesian elders as they went their separate ways from the island of Miletus. On this occasion, “they all wept freely, and fell on Paul’s neck and kissed him” (Acts 20:37).

Sometimes the affection involved great love and appreciation. Consider the words recorded by Luke, “And behold, a woman in the city who was a sinner, when she knew that Jesus sat at the table in the Pharisee’s house, brought an alabaster flask of fragrant oil, and stood at His feet behind Him weeping; and she began to wash His feet with her tears, and wiped them with the hair of her head; and she kissed His feet and anointed them with the fragrant oil” (Lk. 7:37-38). Only a deep love and appreciation for Jesus would cause this woman to do what she did!

Conclusion

Kisses are usually thought of as good things, and rightly should be. Sometimes, however, they can be used to betray a trust and security. As we think of kisses on this Valentine’s Day, let us always be sincere and genuine in all that we do and say.