Why (Some) Fathers Cry

A wise man pondered long ago, “There are three things which are too wonderful for me, Yes, four which I do not understand: The way of an eagle in the air, The way of a serpent on a rock, The way of a ship in the midst of the sea, And the way of a man with a virgin” (Pr. 30:18-19, NKJ). To this list of things that are difficult to understand, I would add another: Why do fathers cry at their daughter’s wedding? I never thought walking my daughter down the aisle to give her in marriage could be so difficult. There was nothing to be sad about—she married a fine Christian young man who takes his responsibility seriously—yet the tears could not be held back, especially when alone in moments of reflection. The more thought that was given as to why this father cried, the more the following three reasons emerged. These reasons are the same that can motivate all of us to continued faithfulness and service to God.

God Is Good

The night before the wedding I talked with a brother who just returned from a motorcycle trip to the West Coast. He explained that the beauty and tranquility of Crater Lake brought tears to his eyes. Then it dawned on me: the same reason that brought tears to his eyes over creation’s beauty is the same reason that brought tears to my eyes at the significance of this event with my daughter—God is good to us! The psalmist repeatedly declared this truth: “The earth is full of the goodness of the Lord” (Ps. 33:5); “Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good” (Ps. 34:8); “You [God] are good, and do good” (Ps. 119:68). While God is so good that He showers blessings upon all people, good and evil (Mt. 5:45), spiritual blessings belong only to those in Christ (Eph. 1:3). Marriage as God intended is to be more than just a physical union; it is also to be a spiritual union (Eph. 5:22-33; 1 Pet. 3:7). This wedding was a realization of the culmination of God’s goodness. Could there be any more appropriate response than a contrite heart pouring out tears of thankfulness to God? From her mother’s pregnancy to her delivery of a healthy baby girl to His providing my daughter a great husband, this wedding was the culmination of the goodness of God!

God's Word Really Works

Concerning parent/child relationships, Paul wrote, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right...And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord” (Eph. 6:1-4). None of us are perfect in following these instructions. However, many do not trust them enough to allow them to guide their family life. How many fathers in our society can walk their daughters down the aisle with a perfectly clear conscious and no regrets as to their relationship with them? Many fathers abuse their daughters, whether physically, mentally, sexually, and/or spiritually. How do these fathers feel when walking their daughters down the aisle? The only way to assure that a father/daughter relationship is what it ought to be in the eyes of God is for both father and daughter to follow His word. Again, what more appropriate response could there be but tears of thankfulness to God for providing perfect instruction for having strong, emotional, spiritual family relationships?

God Answers Prayer

From before our children were born, prayers have been constantly brought before God to bless them. As all who have children can attest, rearing them often challenges our faith. However, God has always answered our prayers and seen us through the difficult times. Not only has God answered prayers in the rearing of our children, but also just as significantly, if not more, God has answered our prayers in providing a husband for our daughter. Whether we realize it or not, the one we marry has great influence on us for good (cf. 1 Pet. 3:1-6) or bad (cf. 1 Kgs. 11:1-8). How many can we count who were once faithful to God, but because of the influence of their spouse, have turned away from God? It is very important that our children marry suitable spouses with like precious faith! For years while we were praying for the Lord to provide a husband for our daughter, a family in Texas was likewise being reared in the “training and admonition of the Lord” and praying for their son. The providence of God brought them together about two years ago, and now they are together “till death we do part.” Again, what other reaction can there be but tears of thankfulness to God?