How Not To Treat One Another
Brian R. Kenyon

We who are members of the church of Christ are family (Eph. 3:14-15). As family, there is a certain way we should treat one another. There are several New Testament verses that contain the term "one another." When these verses are considered, a pattern emerges on both how we should treat one another as Christians and how we should not treat one another as Christians. In last week's article, we examined how we are to treat one another. We noticed that the overriding factor in our treatment of one another is Biblical love (cf. Rom. 13:8; 1 Thes. 4:9; 1 Jn. 3:11, 23; 4:7, 11-12, 20-21). In this article, let us focus on how we are not to treat one another.

We Must Not Speak Evil. "Speak not evil one of another, brethren. He that speaketh evil of his brother, and judgeth his brother, speaketh evil of the law, and judgeth the law" (Jas. 4:11). To "speak...evil" is to say bad things against someone, or to slander. Peter uses the same word (in the original language) with reference to those of the world who persecute Christians (2 Pet. 2:12; 3:16). We would expect the enemies of Christ to say bad things about Christians, but such evil speaking should not be done against our own family in Christ! When we do engage in this evil speaking, not only are we condemning our family in Christ, but we are also showing no regard for God's law because that law says we should love one another (cf. 1 Jn. 2:10-11; 4:20)!

We Must Not Lie. "Lie not one to another, seeing that ye have put off the old man with his deeds" (Col. 3:9). Putting off "the old man [old self, NAS]" is done at baptism (cf. Col. 2:12; 3:1; Rom. 6:3-6), the very same act that results in our being added by the Lord to His church (Acts 2:47). Lying, perhaps more than any other sin, shows ill-will toward our brothers and sisters in Christ. We must not lie to one another (Rev. 21:8)!

We Must Not Show Prejudice. "I charge thee before God, and the Lord Jesus Christ, and the elect angels, that thou observe these things without preferring one before another, doing nothing by partiality" (1 Tim. 5:21). Two words in this verse are of note: "preferring [prejudice, NKJ; bias, NAS]," which means to judge beforehand, without the facts; and "partiality," which means to show favoritism. This does not mean that we cannot have friends in the church that are closer than others (cf. Jesus and Peter, James, and John, Mt. 17:1; 26:37), but it does mean that we are not to form cliques and be prejudice toward those who are not part of our clique!

We Must Not Irritate or Envy. "Let us not be desirous of vain glory, provoking one another, envying one another" (Gal. 5:26). This verse comes after listing the "fruits of the spirit" (Gal. 5:22-23). The word "provoking [challenging, NAS]" means to irritate, or make angry. Immature children do this to one another, but how sad it is when grown people, especially Christians, do this to one another! "Envying" means to be jealous. It is one of the "works of the flesh" (Gal. 5:21), and it was one reason Jesus was crucified (Mt. 27:18). We must be content with what God has given us (1 Tim. 6:6), and not envy our own family in Christ!

We Must Not Judge/Condemn. "Let us not therefore judge one another any more: but judge this rather, that no man put a stumblingblock or an occasion to fall in his brother's way" (Rom.14:13). In the context of Romans 14, Paul is dealing with matters of personal conscience, particularly the eating of meats (Rom.14:1-3). While some could eat meat with no problem, others could not conscientiously eat it because of former associations that eating meat had with idolatry. The point is that it does not matter to God whether we eat meat or not (1 Cor. 8:8), but we should not "judge" those who take a different view on a matter of indifference. "Judge [pass judgment, ESV]" in this context means to condemn (cf. Mt. 7:1-5). Rather than condemning our family members in Christ because they hold a different view on a matter of indifference, Paul says we should resolve not to be a hindrance toward the conscience, and thus the faith, of our family in Christ!

We Must Not Complain. "Grudge not one against another, brethren, lest ye be condemned: behold, the judge standeth before the door" (Jas. 5:9). Although the term "grudge [grumble, NKJ; complain, NAS, murmur, ASV]" can simply refer to sighing or groaning (Rom. 8:23; 2 Cor. 5:2, 4), in this context it refers to complaining that results when we are under severe stress due to difficulties in life, even the trials of our faith (cf. Heb. 13:17, "grief"). Some may take out their frustrations by kicking the garbage can (which is immature enough), but how often do we take our frustrations out on family members by complaining and/or "chewing them out" for insignificant things just because we are frustrated? Even worse is when we do this with our brothers and sisters in Christ. The Israelites of old were often characterized by their complaining, and they suffered because of it (Deut. 1:27-28; 1 Cor. 10:10). Let us not complain against one another, lest we, like the Israelites be "condemned" by the Judge, Jesus Christ!

Conclusion

We are family in Christ, and as such, let us not speak evil, lie, be prejudice, irritate, condemn, and/or complain against one another. When we treat each other in love, not only will we build each other up in the faith, but we will also show the world that we belong to Christ. "By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another" (Jn. 13:35), and treat each other accordingly.