How To Treat One Another
Brian Kenyon

We who are members of the church of Christ are a spiritual family (Eph. 3:14-15). God is our Father (Mt. 23:9; Eph. 4:6), and we are His children (Rom. 8:16; Gal. 3:26). Sometimes, earthly family members treat others better than their own flesh and blood. For example, a man may leave his office and open the door for others and show extraordinary politeness, yet when he comes home, he slams down his stuff, grumbles at his wife, and demands, "Where's my supper?" Unfortunately, some members of the church are the same way toward their own spiritual family members. There are several New Testament verses that contain the term "one another." When we consider those verses, a pattern emerges, and we learn how we should treat one another as Christians.

Must Be Governed By Love

The primary factor in our treatment of one another is Biblical love. Paul wrote, "Owe no man any thing, but to love one another" (Rom. 13:8). He further stated, "But as touching brotherly love...ye yourselves are taught of God to love one another" (1 Thes. 4:9). John likewise wrote, "For this is the message that ye heard from the beginning, that we should love one another" (1 Jn. 3:11). He continued, "That we should...love one another, as he [Jesus] gave us commandment" (1 Jn. 3:23). The reason why we must love one another is clear: "Beloved, if God so loved us, we ought also to love one another" (1 Jn. 4:11). There is tremendous significance in treating one another in love. First, "every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God" (1 Jn. 4:7). Since being "born of God" and "knowing" God require obedience to the Gospel (Jn. 3:3-5; 1 Jn. 2:3), loving one another is used representatively (a synecdoche) for obedience to the entire Gospel. Thus, if love is not governing our treatment of one another, we are not obeying the Gospel! Second, "If we love one another, God dwelleth in us, and his love is perfected in us" (1 Jn. 4:12). God will dwell in us because, again, loving one another is used representatively for obedience, and obedience to the Gospel results in God's indwelling (cf. Jn. 14:23; Rom. 8:9). The idea of "perfected" in "his love…perfected in us" is maturity. When love governs our treatment of one another, we grow and develop in our love for God (cf. 1 Jn. 4:20-21). Given love's importance, then, how should we treat each other?

How We Are To Treat One Another

Be Like Minded. "Be of the same mind one toward another" (Rom. 12:16). This is to "live in harmony" (ESV); be united in the same spiritual interests, which requires adherence to God's word (1 Cor. 1:10).

Edify. "Wherefore comfort yourselves together, and edify one another" (1 Thes. 5:11). "Comfort [encourage, NAS]" and "edify [build up, NAS]" mean to help one another be stronger in the faith. This requires that we do our best through words and actions to give each other encouragement and strength in the Lord.

Accept. "Wherefore receive ye one another, as Christ also received us to the glory of God" (Rom. 15:7). The word "receive [accept, NAS]" means to welcome and/or accept. Obviously, this does not mean that we endorse church members living in sin (cf. 1 Cor. 5:1-5; 2 Thes. 3:6-15), but it does mean we should realize that Christ accepted us as we were as long as we gave (and continue to give) our lives to Him (cf. Mt. 11:28-30), regardless of our race, skin color, nationality, character imperfections, etc. We should also do the same.

Exhort. "But exhort one another daily, while it is called To day" (Heb. 13:3); "And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works: 25Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching" (Heb. 10:24-25). To exhort means to call upon one another for the purpose of encouraging one another to overcome the obstacles in living faithful lives. Since this "one another" exhorting takes place when each "one another" comes together in the "assembling of ourselves together," it is very important that we attend church services!

Forebear. "Walk worthy of the vocation wherewith ye are called...forbearing one another in love" (Eph. 4:1-2). Forbearing [showing tolerance, NAS]" means to endure, be patient with, or give patient attention to. Family members in Christ may disappoint us (whether legitimately or not), but we must continue to work with them, showing love (1 Cor. 13:4), extending kindness (Eph. 4:32), and practicing the Golden Rule (Mt. 7:12).

Forgive. "Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another...even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye" (Col. 3:13). The Lord forgives us when we repent (Acts 2:38), no matter how badly we sin against Him (1 Tim. 1:12-14). One of the conditions of our being forgiven is that we forgive others (Mt. 6:14-15). How forgiving are we to one another?

Conclusion

Our relationship to one another is an important part of being the properly functioning spiritual body that the Lord desires (cf. 1 Cor. 12:12-26). If we cannot get along with one another and treat one another Scripturally, how can we expect to influence the world to be a part of Christ's body? Let us make sure that love governs our relationships with one another, and then be likeminded in spiritual things, build each up in the faith, accept one another despite each other's weaknesses, encourage each other, and be forgiving of each other! Only then can "the world...know that thou hast sent [Jesus], and hast loved them, as [the Father] hast loved [Jesus]" (Jn. 17:23). How are you treating your brothers and sisters in Christ?