Sister Doris Hayes passed from this life last Wednesday, April 25, 2007. Those of us who knew here, whether for a long or short time, knew that she enjoyed living life to the fullest extent her health would allow. Although we are not to get so involved with this world that we forget the Lord (1 Jn. 2:15-17), the enjoyment of living is not necessarily wrong. There is a sense in which God wants us to enjoy this life because it is a gift from Him. Solomon reflected long ago, "There is nothing better for a man, than that he should eat and drink, and that he should make his soul enjoy good in his labour. This also I saw, that it was from the hand of God" (Eccl. 2:24). Doris, who liked angels, was a Christian woman who was full of life.

The Life Doris Enjoyed

Doris loved the Lord. While I did not know her prior to the decline in health that prevented her from attending church services, I do know from my visits to Palm Gardens that she loved to read and study her Bible. When her regular Bible became too heavy to hold, she delighted in the paper back version her children gave her. It was light enough for her to hold for extended periods of time, which allowed her the enjoyment of learning the mind of God. I asked her a week or so before she left this world what her favorite Bible verse was, and she began to quote Psalm 23. This was all the more remarkable considering that she was in and out of awareness during that time. Her love for the Lord was also evident in that she regularly watched the television program In Search of the Lord's Way with Mac Lyon.

She also enjoyed spending time with her family. She was blessed to have three of her five children live close by. They and their families were very involved in Doris' life. Doris especially enjoyed her grandchildren and great grandchildren. If she knew her great granddaughter was coming to visit around a meal time, Doris would hold off on eating so she could share her meal with that cute little girl. Doris also loved getting "picked up" from her assisted living facility in order to attend family gatherings. Sometimes getting her out of her room, through the hallway, and down the ramp with all her equipment was a fiasco, but it was well worth the effort and the humorous memories those journeys left behind. Doris also had a fondness for good food. It's no secret that the food where she lived was kind of bland. Doris, however, had connections. People (mostly family members) would "smuggle in" some good southern home cookin.' Doris also kept a stash of 3 Musketeers candy bars. "Sweets are delicious and nutritious" was one of her favorite mottoes.

Doris also showed her enjoyment for life by her legendary sense of humor. She was a "jokester." She enjoyed playing jokes on others and she even enjoyed being the recipient of a joke or two, like the time when she was visited by the tooth fairy. Even in the last week of her earthly life, she would overcome the heavy medication and deliriousness to crack a one-liner that would make those present laugh.

Doris Was Unselfish and Stubborn
(In a Good Way)

Doris always gave of herself, whether for the Lord or for her family. She would rather do without than to let her children or grandchildren be without. Even though she suffered for several years prior to her death, she never complained about how bad she felt. Her unselfishness in serving the Lord was seen in her writing cards of encouragement to those who were physically ill, celebrating birthdays, or just needed some encouragement. She did this faithfully until she could no longer write legibly. She showed her unselfishness in serving her neighbor by, among others things, helping her room mates at Palm Gardens. Up until the last week or so, her mind was relatively sharp. She was thus able to listen and report to doctors and nurses important matters that her room mates could not remember. She was well liked by both staff and fellow residents.

Along with her enjoyment of life, Doris is probably best remembered for her stubbornness...in a good way. When she was determined, there was nothing stopping her. For example, at one time she was a fan of soap operas, but when they started getting raunchy, she actually wrote the producers, demanding they quit putting "harlots" in the scenes. She did this several times, and sometimes the producers even wrote her back!

This characteristic of stubbornness is one reason Doris hung in as long as she did. It is not wrong to want to keep living. Jesus knew that it was best for humanity that He die (Jn. 12:32-33) and that He was going to rise again (Jn. 10:17-18), yet He still prayed, "O my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me." Although part of Him wanted to keep on living, He finished His prayer, "nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt" (Mt. 26:39). Doris may have felt she had some unfinished business with her family. Until her last breath, she was concerned about the spiritual well being of some of her children and grandchildren. Doris still wanted to enjoy her family, but she knew the only way that can happen is for them to be right with God. All who die faithful in the Lord will spend eternity with Him (Rev. 14:13), and all who spend eternity with Him will spend eternity with each other! However, we must all realize that God does not want us to serve Him merely because we promised someone else we would. Rather, He wants us to serve Him because we believe and love Him (Jn. 3:16). If our sister Doris could come back to this world, she would tell us not only to enjoy life, but also to "Fear God, and keep his commandments: for this is the whole duty of man" (Eccl. 12:13).

Brian R. Kenyon